I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize