Having a random hookup so left but love u
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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