This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
