I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
