Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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