Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize