adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
