Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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