Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
