There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
