you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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