she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
