And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
