Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
