it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
pop tarts are not kleenex
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You took a bar mat shot.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I pour the whiskey from now on
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
