Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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