Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
