Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize