so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize