i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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