You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
