Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i now understand why vodka
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
