I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize