if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
