I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
