So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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