I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
