Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
