New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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