How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
