I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
