Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
