I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
