I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
