Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize