I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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