Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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