I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
