well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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