I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I will be naked everywhere
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
