Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
There r osticjed everywhere
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
