Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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