Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You took a bar mat shot.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
