i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
