I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
