we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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