I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
