He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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