went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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