come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
