You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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