I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
