well I can't set my house on fire every night
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
