try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize