he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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