Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize