Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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