Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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