You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
