Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
