Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Randomize