He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
