I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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