Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize