It's Friday. Sex?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
