I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
