apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
